Haircut Ho!!!

The world of hair care is plagued with this male-female dichotomy[no idea what the word means but i read this phrase somewhere].

You have your manly haircutting saloons and the shack i goto [Surya Haircutting Saloon] features Surya,the guy who's been giving me haircuts since i was 10 and a TV with AdityaTV always on..

and then you have your girly Salons [ with the extra O conspicuous by its absence to differentiate it from a saloon]..

The girly salons will feature perms, dyes, highlights, curls, nails, massage, wash, dry, spin cycle, and various monkeycrappy hair products whose 'clients' mainly comprise of old fat balding men and gays and suckers who call themself "MetroSexual". What is with that word anyway..how can i also start calling myself one.. by having Sex on a Train?! Metrosexuals are effeminate LoseRs!!! Period.

Now you'd think the choice would be obvious. If I go to the manly place, I might have to pay fifty bucks as opposed to five hundred. Plus,Surya's as close to a modern day pirate as ever will get. THIS IS A HIGH SEAS HAIRCUT ADVENTURE. But there's one thing you're forgetting: the girly salon will probably give you a GOOD haircut...and a nice facial to boot! Unless I take a picture of Surya and carry it around as explanation for why i have buzz knicks and claw marks on my scalp, it's safer to go to the girly salon.

And who knows you might run into your CRUSH there! TEE-HEE!

So hopefully this time i have decided to skip Surya's and get a haircut at one of those ~posh~ salons where gay people mostly hang out.So now let's decide on what style I want. I have no clue as usual. You have no clue, don't worry that's normal. The haircut people have no clue what you're trying to say anyway. Even Surya doesn't.They just toss out jargon to muddle you up while they proceed to cut in small baby-step stages. This is because "taking more off is always okay, but putting it back on is the hard part." That was an actual quote by my barber translated by me from crude telugu to english...every time I go in there,he still wonders why I don't come in that often.
S: " Enti ee madhya ravatledu"?
Me: "Dude,its not like i need a haircut everyday, im not a were wolf to come in that often!!"

Btw Now what if you DO know what you want your hair to look like. Well you should bring in a picture of a celeb with that hairstyle so that your haircutter will know precisely what you want. NOT Shah Rukh khan though,as a fact all hairdressers' favorite character is Salman Khan. Surya's even got his face painted on this board outside..

One of my friends goes to this Habib's or Jamal's or some salon named after this guy where you even have some chicks give u a cut. He always comes out with a huge smirk on his face.Yea maybe we also should go there..this is going to be nice! You're in for one semi-erotic experience. With Sunny running fingers through your hair, making you go up and down in the chair, and blowing on your ear...with the dryer, you're damn justified for having that erection. Everyone over there knows you have one, so be proud! If you dont get one, that means you're probably homo. Why do you think they cover you up in that big sheet. And we haven't even gotten to the hair buzzer. In the right hands it is like a vibrator for your neck. Tingly nerves are driving you crazy. She's totally flirting with you! Then she goes, "Mind if I give you a quick tease?" Calm down sailor, she's just going to tousle your hair a little and then you have to leave. So while you may think it's out of hand to spend 500 bucks on a haircut, it's quite in your favor considering you leave the place with the "effects" of a lap dance.

Oh and by the way Sunny is a man's name too.

someone lend me some money..