how to grow a beard..

Occasionally, I've been known to be somewhat opinionated. Oops...just caught that typo in time. I have been known to be VERY opinionated. I have at least two opinions on just about every topic. I am sure there are times when people have felt like rearranging my face.Unfortunately [for them!] there is no legal method for them to do that.Being a kind and generous individual, I have been searching for ways to help these unfortunate victims of my over-active opinionation.Finally, I have found a way to rearrange my face.To help them out, I have grown a beard.

Here is how to grow a beard. [Ladies, please don't try this at home.Some so-called 'Ladies' i know neednt try at all.. they already have a beard n muchi n the works..] .. so here goes..

On Day 1, I did nothing.

On Day 2, I did nothing again.

On Day 3, Idid nothing twice.

On Day 4, I verified that nothing was still being done.

Then I simply repeated the cycle.It's been about two weeks, and my face is definitely rearranged.

To tell the truth, the decision to grow my beard was not just to atone for my hyperopinionation. In fact, what I really wanted to do was to see how I looked in a beard. Curiosity is the real reason I have been growing a beard.Oops... there I go, catching a typo again.that line should have read:
"Laziness is the real reason I have been growing a beard."

Truth be told, I did the four-day nothing cycle more by accident. When you have nobody to impress, the days can just kindof get away from you. Before I knew it, I had the foundation of a growing beard.That's when I got curious. And lazy.

Anyway,I think my curiosity is settled. I am still lazy, but I am ready to shave off my beard. Unfortunately, my girlfriend hasnt yet seen it, so I am keeping it on by special request until she can see it. Dueto a heavy schedule, that visit might be a while.
Oops. Silly me... i have saved me from inaccuracy once more. I just realised that due to being too lazy to shave my beard, that visit might be a while... and i waitaminnit... who girlfriend...??? :?

But i shall definitely shave tomorrow, because its madhulika's engagement and im gonna get butchered if i turn up in my present avataram.. what if i dont get let in cos i look like a goon... can't let all that food goto waste kada.. ;)

over n out

thinkin...

There was a long involved chain of thought that went through my head. It was curiously enlightening.

It started from a question of whether taking human life in any form is bad. Or in other words, is it possible to take one of jesus sayings like love your enemy or something like that and carry it to a logical conclusion that would end up being the total antithesis of what he meant. Bear with me.. i know im not making much sense just yet. So is there any reason human life should be sacrosanct? or are there any laws that we have that God should be bound by. It only seems fair... that God abide by the same rules he expects us to keep. and yet, they say it doesnt work that way; if we displease him, he can send us off to burn.
but we end up being his creation and so many things about our universe are arbitrary and fixed. the way we are.. the way God is.. and that makes all the difference.The simple fact is, you dont go to hell if you do wrong... you go to hell if you dont choose God. Hell is not punishment, it is existence without god.. and while proponents of God try to paint a scary picture of Hell, opponents argue that Hell is not really hell. They are convinced that existence apart from god is possible. and so we have the great divide.You must choose one or the other. and on this hangs your life.. the real issue i want to draw attention to is our resistance to being coerced. Yes, if God really forces me to decide, i might choose my own way apart from God. its how we are..and its definitely how I am and i think feeling that God is forcing us is why so many of us dont want God...who wants to be forced to kneel... to have your pride broken.. to grovel like some slave...
The real sticking point in my head is that when I think of the statement.. God makes all the decisions ultimately, or God decides who goes to heaven and who doesnt, it bothers me that he should have that power. I'm upset by it too, when i think about it. i mean, really, what right does God have to do such things? its no use telling me he created me... if he created me with free will, then it should be perfectly possible for me to become independent... isnt it strange that God would provide that and not the means to attain independence from him... ??

think about it.

Sex Ed.

When I was in the 8th grade, I had the biggest crush on my physics teacher Lakshmi ma'am. was she H.o.t or what.. that extremely sexy sari, hair casually tied in a ponytail, that midriff, i used to get lost in her eyes... and that look of hers.. maaan what I wouldn't have given for the chance at a little extracurricular tutoring with her [wink wink].. which is why I find this to be much ado about nothing. Maybe its because I'm a guy, but I think there's a huge difference between a male teacher sleeping with a female student and a female teacher sleeping with a male student. And a female teacher sleeping with a female student is always fine and dandy with me but not the other way round.. ewe.
so here's to all those hot teachers [i've been blessed with tons of 'em]..opportune moment to take some of their names.. miss pratibha, miss rama, mrs. vandana, vrinda ma'am lakshmi ma'am from school and suhasini ma'am from st.mary's.. and if i've forgotten to mention anybody, then i'm sorry, i shall make up for it in my fantasies.. myuhaha/

Fan Appreciation!!!

I don't know where i would be if it weren't for my fans.. Fans help me sleep at night... because i can't stand the room being hot and stuffy with the insecurity of a failed blog. Having just received a strange email from someone in blore telling me that i write really well, and having not written anything worthy in a good while, and having lapses in my sinyasi Posts,it surefeels good...

a little[?] introspection..

soul searching, some call it. i dont want to get that deep here, i just want to examine motive and intent. the self induced ravings of free speech and its bondage.

i wonder why i write, sometimes, in those lost moments, the questions fill my head, as i pore over snatches of conversation, wondering at nuances, thinking, why do i even bother, if i ignore it, it will all go away. but it doesnt, and i do, and its all meaningless, meaningless, meaningless, under this ball of fire we call the sun. eh??

i write and i write, and i do not know who reads this. a few of my friends maybe, and a few strangers who wander across the blogworld. my friends know me and are my friends anyway. the strangers, are strangers until we communicate [which unfortunately nobody has done yet]. and then there is an indeterminate quantity of readers, that i like to posit at zero for my own sanity, who probably read these posts and proceed to form opinions. lol, may i point out that a strong reason to posit zero is that i get no comments from this third group of readers... actually i get no comments on my blog at ALL... which brings me to my motivation for writing... i wish i could say that i dont crave attention, but i'll give myself the benefit of doubt and declare i'm a closet exhibitionist. if blogging's the only way to flash you, then i must blog. what irked me, [ love that word.. irk] was being accused of it in a sly way, as if it's somehow wrong, or even that doing this helps me somehow. other than being a place to vent... somehow, i'll get famous among my peers, by blogging... in inimitable hyderabadi style. AS IF. as if i care about fame. as if my words are addressed only to hydeys.. as if i need anything more, than to say my words.

And that brings me to an argument i seem to rake up every so often with this friend of mine. Does an artist create his work for the audience or himself?

i submit, for himself. my words are strung together not for people to read and say oooh, but so that i can feel the shape of the words running through my mind, the sparkle of little word gems, the heft and warp of the skein i weave with syntax and grammar. like my God, i delight in creation. and just like him, i must. Create.

And that is my excuse to segue into those little tirades that roll around in my head. sometimes people suck, especially me. and sometimes, i'd rather whine. and sometimes, i'd rather not talk in the commonplace manner we've all become accustomed to. and my blog must reflect that. ahh, i wish i knew what the point of this post was. i sort of stopped posting because i didnt want to feel pressured into writing. every so often, i just about find enough inside me to fuel a post. about the only thing i can aspire to is Truth. bear with me. i will use everything, including your comments.

I hope some chicks read this and proceed to make contact.. :D

Now in Pink..!!

Here's the situation:I'll be sitting in my usual 'work' position,in which i put my legs on the table infront of my sofa while watching TV.i leave my feet on the floor,because i have detachable legs.

No,seriously,my legs are attached to my feet,which are propped up on my table while i ponder the kind of question that,in my role as a leading opinion maker,i am often called upon to answer,such as who is the ultimate beech.. is it Jassi / Parvati/ Kashish / or that callcentre bimbo ?

While i am pondering over this, my phone rings. I answer..I hear the caller say.."grppllebbeplleekisht"Unfamiliar with the language the caller was conversing in i hang up..

Now People,I have no problem completing level fifty in FreeKick on my cellphone. When I need to listen to an mp3 in it,its ready. If i wanna take pix or an mms vid of that hot chick who stays in the flat behind my home, its there in handy. When I want to use it as a walkie-talkie so I could pretend to be a GI Joe like I did when I was four, even that's no problem. In fact, my cellphone lets me do just about everything except have a simple conversation.

Thanks for all the extra features guys, but it doesn't really matter when I still have to climb on top of the roof wearing a tinfoil jumpsuit to get decent reception.By the way, Why the hell are you pink now.. doesn't make any difference does it.. Pink is a slutty colour!! not like i'll get better reception if i wear pink... will i??

Don't forget what the primary purpose of a cellphone is: To ANNOY people in movie theaters and it irritates me even more when i see my service provider's advertisements..i mean Who the hell wants a dog following you wherever you go i mean come on.. you don't want a mutt sniffing about your ass when you're in the loo.. thats just plain perverted.

but then if you like such things i think you have some serious fetish problems to sort out... I recommend some medical attention..to the dog.. myuhahaha!!!!

By the way, just in case you're still wondering, the answer's Tulsi!!

HUTCH..CHEEE!!!! god bless me.. :D

sthothram...

you know how a lot of telugu christians say sthothram all the time.[ for all the non-christians/ non-telugus, sthothram is the telugu word for praise . Sthothram is pronounced ssthothrum - sss from snake, th from thick, o from raw, thrum like thrum... so it comes out sthothram sthothram]//

got me thinking...

don't these people say sthothram all the time. like its a chant... to keep the devil away and praise god or something lathat...

and then i thought about how people say oh god all the time too.. the english equivalent ie.

and with a one track mind like mine which thinks abt [u-know-what] most of the time it seemed natural to wonder how oh god gets used...and i wondered if ppl say sthothram the same way...

sthothram sthothram sthothram sthothram sthothram sthoTHRAm sTHoTHRAm STHOTHRAM SthOTHRAM STHOTHRAMSTHOTHRAM STHOTHRAM OOOO sthothram.. :/

that would be some weirdass shit.. hehe

i hope you forget about this by the time you're in church and you hear all the sthothrams.

just making a comment about how even the best things can become meaningless and then ridiculous...

EWES!!!

just how do you pronouce that word? out loud.
ewwwwwwwwws?
eoooooooos?
eveees?

i had the greatest difficulty reading this out loud in church. i rarely read out loud in church.but i had to do it for the evening sermon. this time i thought i'd go for it, since it was sunday night, and not a whole lot of people were there. not cos im shy or anything, just not a reader outter of the bible in the church-er.
it was the verse with 200 cows, 30 bulls, 50 donkeys etc... and apparently there had to be 200 ewes as well... so i see it and it suddenly pops into my head that it sounds just like a plural ewwwww..
unfortunately, i'm already committed and i have to finish reading. so i'm reading two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and right there i start spluttering, trying not to laugh out loud, because pastor Daniel is sitting there and i dont need to get into shit with him. i just hit a mental brick wall right there. it was like an ewe came and kicked me in the balls err.. head. i could not say that word for the life of me without laughing...finally, i limped through the rest of the verse, and it was never mentioned again.

this is exactly why i dont go to church regularly..

methinks we need to change the pronounciation to evays or evees or anything.. Oxford are ya listenin to me..


what a start to a [Happy New Year]..