In life you meet many people. Some you hope to God to not see ever again. Some, you just know they are there and you don't give it another thought. But sometimes, if you are lucky, you get to meet incredible, awesome people. Then, as a gift from somewhere nice and cuddly, they become more than your friends. They become almost-family.
These past few days have been rough. Loads of work and some other bullshit that life wants to throw your way, I guess. In these screwed moments, the best eulogy I can think of is... penguins.
The harsh bitter cold comes washing in, and the only way to survive is by huddling up together. It's nature. We all need some sort of support to survive sometimes. We cannot do it alone. So we huddle as close as we can. Together we stand, right?
Wrong.
What do you do when the other penguins decide you're not worth it?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Independence Ho!
Two hundred and thirty-three years ago today, the Founding Fathers changed the world forever by signing the Declaration of Indepe… Oops, sorry wrong Independence Day opening dialogue! (Blame the BPOs, I tell you, can’t live with them, can’t live without them!)
Okay, let me start again: "At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new… India discovers herself again", said Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, the nation’s First Prime Minister on Indian Independence Day, 1947.
As a true patriot, I have absolutely no problem with the above paragraph except for the last part where it says ‘Indian Independence Day’.
I mean, ever wonder why we call it that? Because the last time I checked the annals of history, the British depended on India for cotton, silk, saffron, jewelry, indigo, perfumes, paper, grains, spices, raw material, labor and many other commodities and services.
So when I first heard this term in school, my interpretation was that it is the British Independence Day. I was soon “corrected” and it was explained to me that before 15th August 1947, WE were dependent on the British. I could never figure this out. I believe “independence” and “freedom” are two different words! Shouldn’t we call it “Liberty Day” or “Freedom Day”? How did “Independence” work in its way into the jargon? Or was that the parting shot of imperialism?
Anyway, 15th August is celebrated with much galore in our country. People revel more in the fact that it is a holiday rather than it being the day of birth of the world’s biggest democracy. In educational institutions, the national flag is hoisted by the Headmaster or the Watchman, whoever is available. People go to offices to attend the flag hoisting ceremony & hog the free sweets after that.
The Prime Minister of India addresses the whole Nation live after the flag has been unfurled at the Red Fort recounting the country's achievements of the year, discussing current issues and future plans for the progress of the country. And then after the Prime Minister’s telecast is over, Doordarshan shows “Gandhi – the movie”, for the umpteenth time. This glorious day is a matter of immense national pride for all of us, indeed.
Except, this national pride goes to garbage the next day when I see the flags lying around everywhere on the streets and municipal bins! It makes me wonder about the kind of citizens we are and the state we are living in.
So how would you describe India? Functioning anarchy? Upcoming superpower? Largest democracy? Largest technical manpower? Largest English speaking people on the planet? Highest number of illiterates? One of the most selfish & corrupt? How?
Okay, don't get me wrong. I love my country and am a product of its rich and varied heritage, the weird cultural collisions, fusions and all that melting pot stuff. And I think that’s what I love the most about India. Notwithstanding a few incidents every 10 years, 1 billion people from different religions, races and castes co-exist in the sweetest manner.
A case in point is when you are traveling in trains early mornings. The people in the train are so insufferable that you look outside for time-pass. And that is when you see it – people going about their ablutions next to the tracks.
Quite a sight to behold, people squatting in a row, with nothing more than a ‘lotta’ in hand, amongst them Ravi, Ali, Manpreet & George – people of different creeds – showcasing the true spirit of national integration.
What I am basically trying to say is, even when us Indians are in shit, we’re together. Nothing else matters. Jai Hind!
Okay, let me start again: "At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new… India discovers herself again", said Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, the nation’s First Prime Minister on Indian Independence Day, 1947.
As a true patriot, I have absolutely no problem with the above paragraph except for the last part where it says ‘Indian Independence Day’.
I mean, ever wonder why we call it that? Because the last time I checked the annals of history, the British depended on India for cotton, silk, saffron, jewelry, indigo, perfumes, paper, grains, spices, raw material, labor and many other commodities and services.
So when I first heard this term in school, my interpretation was that it is the British Independence Day. I was soon “corrected” and it was explained to me that before 15th August 1947, WE were dependent on the British. I could never figure this out. I believe “independence” and “freedom” are two different words! Shouldn’t we call it “Liberty Day” or “Freedom Day”? How did “Independence” work in its way into the jargon? Or was that the parting shot of imperialism?
Anyway, 15th August is celebrated with much galore in our country. People revel more in the fact that it is a holiday rather than it being the day of birth of the world’s biggest democracy. In educational institutions, the national flag is hoisted by the Headmaster or the Watchman, whoever is available. People go to offices to attend the flag hoisting ceremony & hog the free sweets after that.
The Prime Minister of India addresses the whole Nation live after the flag has been unfurled at the Red Fort recounting the country's achievements of the year, discussing current issues and future plans for the progress of the country. And then after the Prime Minister’s telecast is over, Doordarshan shows “Gandhi – the movie”, for the umpteenth time. This glorious day is a matter of immense national pride for all of us, indeed.
Except, this national pride goes to garbage the next day when I see the flags lying around everywhere on the streets and municipal bins! It makes me wonder about the kind of citizens we are and the state we are living in.
So how would you describe India? Functioning anarchy? Upcoming superpower? Largest democracy? Largest technical manpower? Largest English speaking people on the planet? Highest number of illiterates? One of the most selfish & corrupt? How?
Okay, don't get me wrong. I love my country and am a product of its rich and varied heritage, the weird cultural collisions, fusions and all that melting pot stuff. And I think that’s what I love the most about India. Notwithstanding a few incidents every 10 years, 1 billion people from different religions, races and castes co-exist in the sweetest manner.
A case in point is when you are traveling in trains early mornings. The people in the train are so insufferable that you look outside for time-pass. And that is when you see it – people going about their ablutions next to the tracks.
Quite a sight to behold, people squatting in a row, with nothing more than a ‘lotta’ in hand, amongst them Ravi, Ali, Manpreet & George – people of different creeds – showcasing the true spirit of national integration.
What I am basically trying to say is, even when us Indians are in shit, we’re together. Nothing else matters. Jai Hind!
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
2008 - A Love Story
Oh, when i saw one girl in 2008, it felt like...
like a blossoming rose...
like a poet's dream...
like a ray of bright sunshine...
like a deer in the forest...
like a moonlit night...
like a mellifluous word...
like a dazzling lamp in a temple...
Oh yeah, when i saw that girl, it felt like that!
Note: If you thought the lyrics sounded cheesy, trying singing them in tune with the original!
like a blossoming rose...
like a poet's dream...
like a ray of bright sunshine...
like a deer in the forest...
like a moonlit night...
like a mellifluous word...
like a dazzling lamp in a temple...
Oh yeah, when i saw that girl, it felt like that!
Note: If you thought the lyrics sounded cheesy, trying singing them in tune with the original!
Friday, July 03, 2009
My Tribute to MJ
An artist who 'changed the face' of the music industry... [lol]
a person who touched generations of people, mostly young kids... [ewww]
a man who used to hate injections until his doctor told him all he'd feel was a small prick... [hehe]
the last thing he was arrested for was - cardiac arrest... [ouch, i know, below the belt, but that's where he likes it, heha, double entendre]
sadly his heart couldn't just beat it. [ am on a roll]
he will live on forever cos plastic don't decompose. [myuuahaahaaa]
end
a person who touched generations of people, mostly young kids... [ewww]
a man who used to hate injections until his doctor told him all he'd feel was a small prick... [hehe]
the last thing he was arrested for was - cardiac arrest... [ouch, i know, below the belt, but that's where he likes it, heha, double entendre]
sadly his heart couldn't just beat it. [ am on a roll]
he will live on forever cos plastic don't decompose. [myuuahaahaaa]
end
Sunday, June 28, 2009
dead man moonwalking...
cherubims & seraphims beware!
It's NOT mean if you make fun of a dead pedophile junkie!
enough with the rips already, whats the world coming to?! just because the man (?) was an obscenely talented musician doesnt mean you overlook his actions & mourn his death. he dangled babies outta balconies, for crying out loud! and thats, like the least of his crazy acts. anyway, may MJ the musician r.i.p, while the world is now minus one ultra deranged psychopath & a better place for you and for me.
It's NOT mean if you make fun of a dead pedophile junkie!
enough with the rips already, whats the world coming to?! just because the man (?) was an obscenely talented musician doesnt mean you overlook his actions & mourn his death. he dangled babies outta balconies, for crying out loud! and thats, like the least of his crazy acts. anyway, may MJ the musician r.i.p, while the world is now minus one ultra deranged psychopath & a better place for you and for me.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
softly...
Softly the dew dropped from the leaf
signaling arrival of the morn,
tis dawn already?, exclaimed our hero
“I love my new stack of porn.”
signaling arrival of the morn,
tis dawn already?, exclaimed our hero
“I love my new stack of porn.”
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Chronicles of Shareef miyan
He started out without any worldly advantages in life, and had come up the hard way. Born to a rickshaw puller in Chintalbasti, he worked his way up the ladder of the hospitality industry – selling palli-bataani, onto chaat bandis, tea stalls, Irani hotels to when finally, by what only seemed to be the Grace of the mighty Prophet (PBUH), he landed a plush job in the climate-controlled environs of Café Coffee day, dsnr. Till one day, all his dreams came crashing down…
SM: Saar, order?
Customer: yeah, one café Latte!
SM: hou Laatu saar, kaunsa bolo?
Shareef miyan – done in by a classic case of Hyderabadi Tourette’s
ps: only a true hyderabadi can comprehend this joke.
SM: Saar, order?
Customer: yeah, one café Latte!
SM: hou Laatu saar, kaunsa bolo?
Shareef miyan – done in by a classic case of Hyderabadi Tourette’s
ps: only a true hyderabadi can comprehend this joke.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
As she stood...
As she stood at the bus-stop in Koti watching him walk away with another girl, a single sparkling tear fell from her cheek onto the footpath, then slid onto the side of the road, and into the drainage pipe, there to join its course into the not-so-mighty-anymore waters of the river Musi, and eventually the Hussainsagar, where that solitary tear splattered into his eyes, as the other woman playfully splashed water on him, as they were boating on the Khairunnisa.
Within 10 days, the man was rendered blind.
Morals of the story
#1: Never scorn a woman’s love.
#2: Never go boating in Hussainsagar's dangerous dirty waters
#3: Don’t read my blog expecting sensible stuff
Within 10 days, the man was rendered blind.
Morals of the story
#1: Never scorn a woman’s love.
#2: Never go boating in Hussainsagar's dangerous dirty waters
#3: Don’t read my blog expecting sensible stuff
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Voices in my head
- "One child dies every minute from AIDS."
"Isn't that sad?"
"Hey, children shouldn't be having sex."
"They get it from their parents!"
"Their parents shouldn't be having sex with them!"
yes, we deserve a bullet in the head!
"Isn't that sad?"
"Hey, children shouldn't be having sex."
"They get it from their parents!"
"Their parents shouldn't be having sex with them!"
yes, we deserve a bullet in the head!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Hairy Situation
lent has started. usually i don't shave the whole 40 days. don't ask me why. i just don't do it.
maybe i wanna look like santa claus and confuse the kids just to prove a point.
but this time around, i forgot to do the customary clean shave before embarking on the path of anti-shave-it-ism.
its just been two days of lent and the last time i shaved was, pata nahi kab, so i look like a bearded bear and now i have landed myself in a hairy situation. i have some pretty important meetings lined up this weekend and now i am in a quandary.
this quandary is a place between where i'm sitting now and the nearest barber shop.
an important decision, no? do i sacrifice my ideals & my beliefs and go shave, will god forgive me, will i burn in hell? do i say a prayer - forgive me lord, for i have sinned, i have shaved, my face is naked, i am shamed. i don't know.
but i know one thing for sure and all the guys will agree with me on this. as a kid, i have always been excited to grow hair. I still remember when i was 13, and hair had just started sprouting in various places. Boy, was that fun. ! I would mark its growth, and fertilize and water it, hoping it would come just a little fuller.
Well CONGRATS to myself , because my wish has been fulfilled… about 6 times over in fact. At first i thought maybe it was just god's way of reminding you to do the sign of the cross. Face, crotch, armpit, armpit.
Awww, thank you Lord and Savior! But then what do u do when he goes a little overboard and draws the cross out all the way, and then extends it to your back like some kind of cross vest. Right now I've got a full robe made entirely of hair.
Wohkay I'm joking, it's not that bad… yet, but you may need to take precautionary action. When you wanna give me a hug, and my hair clings back, that's a little too much for me n maybe for you too..
But people, don't ask me to shave OH NO NO!! i'll just trim it a little if i feel so obliged. Personally I'm not ashamed of my hair. i am told chicks dig it.
dig on baybysu :)
maybe i wanna look like santa claus and confuse the kids just to prove a point.
but this time around, i forgot to do the customary clean shave before embarking on the path of anti-shave-it-ism.
its just been two days of lent and the last time i shaved was, pata nahi kab, so i look like a bearded bear and now i have landed myself in a hairy situation. i have some pretty important meetings lined up this weekend and now i am in a quandary.
this quandary is a place between where i'm sitting now and the nearest barber shop.
an important decision, no? do i sacrifice my ideals & my beliefs and go shave, will god forgive me, will i burn in hell? do i say a prayer - forgive me lord, for i have sinned, i have shaved, my face is naked, i am shamed. i don't know.
but i know one thing for sure and all the guys will agree with me on this. as a kid, i have always been excited to grow hair. I still remember when i was 13, and hair had just started sprouting in various places. Boy, was that fun. ! I would mark its growth, and fertilize and water it, hoping it would come just a little fuller.
Well CONGRATS to myself , because my wish has been fulfilled… about 6 times over in fact. At first i thought maybe it was just god's way of reminding you to do the sign of the cross. Face, crotch, armpit, armpit.
Awww, thank you Lord and Savior! But then what do u do when he goes a little overboard and draws the cross out all the way, and then extends it to your back like some kind of cross vest. Right now I've got a full robe made entirely of hair.
Wohkay I'm joking, it's not that bad… yet, but you may need to take precautionary action. When you wanna give me a hug, and my hair clings back, that's a little too much for me n maybe for you too..
But people, don't ask me to shave OH NO NO!! i'll just trim it a little if i feel so obliged. Personally I'm not ashamed of my hair. i am told chicks dig it.
dig on baybysu :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
shit happens...
usually in the mornings.
sometimes during the day too.
god i hate getting up early. just received a pseudo-order from australia demanding that i wake up early so conversations may happen, early morning for me, nice sunny afternoon for her.
i am enn oh tee not a morning person ra.
unblink.
usually in the mornings.
sometimes during the day too.
god i hate getting up early. just received a pseudo-order from australia demanding that i wake up early so conversations may happen, early morning for me, nice sunny afternoon for her.
i am enn oh tee not a morning person ra.
unblink.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
lipstick... dipshtick... dickshit!
i met a woman today who was either
a) a vampire who just had blood for lunch
b) a human who just had blood for lunch.
c) an insecure woman with a boring face who decided to cosmetize her natural lips with an unnatural 'bright crimson hue', as described on her lipstick stick [?] or the color red, as non-discerning men like me would call it.
my discerning readers have already realized what i'm talking about - today's topic: what is with Red lipstick and women who wear them?
there are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those clowns usually juggle for a living. of course, there are a few women who are able to pull it off - dimple kapadia and madhuri dixit. but the fact remains, red lipstick looks horrible on most women, and all men.
there have been literally thousands of names for the same color of lipstick over the years. yet there are only about three shades of red - dark red, red and light red. Period. And i mean that grammatically, not menstrually. although the context of it makes sense now that i think about it.
i dread the day a new lipstick brand launches into the market and they hire me to come up with names for their same-yet-different-shades of red lipsticks. how does menstrual red sound?
over n out
a) a vampire who just had blood for lunch
b) a human who just had blood for lunch.
c) an insecure woman with a boring face who decided to cosmetize her natural lips with an unnatural 'bright crimson hue', as described on her lipstick stick [?] or the color red, as non-discerning men like me would call it.
my discerning readers have already realized what i'm talking about - today's topic: what is with Red lipstick and women who wear them?
there are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those clowns usually juggle for a living. of course, there are a few women who are able to pull it off - dimple kapadia and madhuri dixit. but the fact remains, red lipstick looks horrible on most women, and all men.
there have been literally thousands of names for the same color of lipstick over the years. yet there are only about three shades of red - dark red, red and light red. Period. And i mean that grammatically, not menstrually. although the context of it makes sense now that i think about it.
i dread the day a new lipstick brand launches into the market and they hire me to come up with names for their same-yet-different-shades of red lipsticks. how does menstrual red sound?
over n out
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
