Cashing in on 2012, Sulemani style!

2 days to go for the new year, and as most hyderabadis stay home because of a telangana bandh, reminiscing the old year & contemplating the new, Shareef Miyan is taking a ' laang drive' in his friend Gilani Bhai's brand-naya auto to Tankbund. The weather's extremely awesome and a surprise winter rain is about to hit the city. Shareef Miyan whips out his yellow raincoat bought in 'Tawakkal Fashions' at Sultan bazar for 125 Rs. and a black cap that is actually 'Subah mein gosht ki dukaan pe dee so plastic ki packyt', and immediately puts 'em on.

GB: Kya hua, miyan?
SM: Baarish hoti shayad, aur apan tankbund ku jaare.
GB: Toh? mera naya auto waterproof hai yaaro. kyku fikar karre?
SM: Arey, Tonti-ttol [2012, the movie] nahi dekha? Naye saal ku logaa paani mein dubke mar jaate katey...
GB: Houuu??
SM: Hou, main to bolru, new year ki daawat Khairunnisa pe manayinge! tonti-ten, tonti-ttol, tsunami sulemani jo bhi aaye, apan safe rehte tankbund pe.
GB: Abba, kya pilanning banaye yaaro! Acha, new year ke din theek hai. sulemani woh din nahi aake, kab to bhi baad mein aaya to?
SM: Arey, important baat karre jab beech mein nakko toko bolke kitte baar bolna? Poora plan tereku bataya ich nahi abi. Tankbund kyku leke jaaru sochra? Main Khairunnisa pe paan-dabba kholne ka planning daaloun.
GB[pareshan pareshan]: Khairunnisa pe Paan-dabbaa??

SM: Hou!! Jab tsunami aati, aur loga dub jaate, to jab mera EK ICH paan-dabba reh jaata duniya mein. duniya ke poore goldflake, manikchand, chabaza ka ishtock mere kane ich rehta. Jab Survivoraa kiskaney aako jaate?
[Shouting] Jab Duniya ka King kaun? Mohammed Shareef Nazakhat!
[Surprisingly, rather than Bhiku, he flails his arms more like Leo & Kate]

GB [with a look of admiration in his face]: Maan gaye Ustad!
SM: Kisku?
GB: Tumhareku aur Khairunnisa ku!
SM: Jaanedo ab, zara paan-dabba dikha to roko!

Chronicles of Shareef miyan

He started out without any worldly advantages in life, and had come up the hard way. Born to a rickshaw puller in Chintalbasti, he worked his way up the ladder of the hospitality industry – selling palli-bataani, onto chaat bandis, tea stalls, Irani hotels to when finally, by what only seemed to be the Grace of the mighty Prophet (PBUH), he landed a plush job in the climate-controlled environs of Café Coffee day, dsnr. Till one day, all his dreams came crashing down…

SM: Saar, order?
Customer: yeah, one café Latte!
SM: hou Laatu saar, kaunsa bolo?

Shareef miyan – done in by a classic case of Hyderabadi Tourette’s

ps: only a true hyderabadi can comprehend this joke.