I believe, in my heart, that despite all the crap we go through in life, if you get up in the morning and work a little bit harder and a little bit better than the other guy, you will succeed.

invention has its own algorithm:
genius, obsession, serendipity, and epiphany in some unknowable combination.
how can you put that in a bottle?

lipstick... dipshtick... dickshit!

i met a woman today who was either
a) a vampire who just had blood for lunch
b) a human who just had blood for lunch.
c) an insecure woman with a boring face who decided to cosmetize her natural lips with an unnatural 'bright crimson hue', as described on her lipstick stick [?] or the color red, as non-discerning men like me would call it.

my discerning readers have already realized what i'm talking about - today's topic: what is with Red lipstick and women who wear them?
there are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those clowns usually juggle for a living. of course, there are a few women who are able to pull it off - dimple kapadia and madhuri dixit. but the fact remains, red lipstick looks horrible on most women, and all men.
there have been literally thousands of names for the same color of lipstick over the years. yet there are only about three shades of red - dark red, red and light red. Period. And i mean that grammatically, not menstrually. although the context of it makes sense now that i think about it.

i dread the day a new lipstick brand launches into the market and they hire me to come up with names for their same-yet-different-shades of red lipsticks. how does menstrual red sound?

over n out

siamese twins... what happens if one dies before the other? does the other one have to lug the corpse around?

naturalism vs evolution

Apparently you can remove three-quarters of your liver and it can regenerate into a full liver again.
Either God created men like this so we can drink or men evolved into this so we can drink.

once upon a time, a drunk dude stood on a mound at durgam cheruvu to pee. as the urine gushed out, he savored the simple joy of a Pee Brr - that wonderful one-second shiver that comes and goes without warning. Long after he was done saying hello to nature, he stood there... marvelling at the Pee Sprinkle pattern that formed on his shoes.. till, like all things wonderful, the pattern disappeared... and he returned.. his bladder empty, his soul in bliss, his body invigorated, his mind hazy, and his drunk ass still drunk!!! :D

"Sorry i haven't written anything in a while"
wait... why am i wasting your time with apologies?
the best apology's probably 'new and improved' content. But does that mean what i used to blog back then was shit? i dont think so.
What i probably need this time around is just a wee bit more consistency. Okay. Lots of consistency. Shit loads of it!
Alright boy! Pick a schedule you can live with. and Stick to it!
but wait again... no more substandard crap posts. no more 'what to write', 'nothing to write' , 'i can write', 'i cannot write' posts !!!!!!!!!!
promise? promise! mdp? mosquito dead promise macha!
wohkay... cya around then

I was once captivated by the things you'd say.
Just thinking about you, would brighten up my day.
Now it seems as if all that has changed.
The only thing you do, is cause me more pain.
I wish I had known who you really were.
It wouldn't have been so hard.
The agony inside me, makes it hard to breathe.
The impact you had, was so hard to believe.
Now the walls are there, forever guarding my heart.
If only they'd been there, to protect it from the start.

20 hours and counting...

its around 5.30 am now and i've been working since 9 am yester-fuckin-day. you do the math now... enta.. 20 hours and a half ah???

the next asshole who says advertising is a glamorous job gets to eat my shit.

"When you see me staring out the window, that's when i'm working "
- a creative who blogs


for a copywriter, im not very adept at thinking up headlines for my posts..

3 moves...

and checkmate biatch!!!
myuuhahaaa...

Screw RC, Foster's Rules! :D

Okay, you win

I'm so vain. Sooooooooooo freakin' vain!

I was going to pack this blog in. Really I was.

Mainly due to sheer laziness.

Alright, totally and utterly due to sheer laziness.

And just when I'm about to turn off the lights, set the alarm to dead and leave the building, I receive lovely comments. Okay, not lovely comments but comments nevertheless. oh yeah and the phone call from deepu too. that helped.

And so, like the man of steel that I am, I change my mind.

Anyway, enough of this self-indulgent waffle. On with the 'show'.

okay i'll grant myself koncham senti! thanks all those who comment on my blog. not only my friends but other bloggers too, even those who used to comment a loong time back.. vishy, goda, mydh, sita and the likes... awesome blogs all of them. unfortunately haven't the time to comment on your blogs but hang on in there, one of these days is gonna be your lucky day :)

over n out

PS: its freakin amazing how fast i can type after two beers [ in office] myyuuhaahaaa ...

burp

The End?

well, maybe.

Let's face it. My recent productivity levels on this blog have been similar to those of a 14-year-old boy trying to do his homework in a bedroom equipped with a pc, a playstation and a stack of porn under the bed.

anyways, if i think slash do slash see something really brilliant, then i'll blog it. Maybe.

Just don't hold your breath waiting.
Not that you would, obviously.

and the shits keep on coming...

No this isn't about my ass. Although i wish it were. Instead it's about richa's mom's cancer. it didn't respond to the chemo as well as the doctors thought it would. so they switched her to radiation. Evidently that didn't work either, as i just found that the cancer has spread to her brain. So soon they're going to start radiating that.

Yippee ki ay, motherfuckers. and okay i'm genuinely sorry now for thinking this, but i actually wanted her dead once cos she's kinda the reason i had to break up with richa.

Anyway, for those who bother with such things, i would appreciate it if you'd keep richie & her family in your prayers. and while you have god on the line, i'd appreciate it if maybe you could mention my ass.

Eat, Sleep, Dream Curiosity!!

I swear if this week doesn't start moving faster I'm going to rip someone's head off, chuck it into a playground full of children and scream "This is Sparta!" whilst pounding my chest like an escaped gorilla.

haven't been posting lately..

Obviously.

Maybe it's because I didn't have anything to say. But more likely it has to do with not wanting to say anything. It's weird. I "write" for a living, and then I have to force myself to write anything that doesn't relate to work directly. In other words, anything that's fun. Not that work isn't fun lately. It actually has been.

I always wonder if it would be different if I were, say, a steel mill worker. I spend all day doing the things a steel mill worker does (the research that went into this must be astounding to you right now), and then goes home, crack open a can of beer, and then say, "Man, I can't wait to weld some more steel in the garage.
I think it's safe to say that mill workers probably can't stand the sight of iron or metal of any sort.

Okay, maybe not.

All I'm saying is that if you do something for a living that also happens to be what you love--even though you're getting "paid" for it--you tend to spend less time doing it because you do it so much at work as it is.

Maybe a better analogy would the male porn star who accidentally lost control of his, uhm, stuff right before the thrilling conclusion.

Maybe not.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend.

happy new year self analysis

okay.. scout motto for ulti long post.. here goes..

Back in my youth [ i'm 23 now, then i was 18] I thought i had a problem.I was called a dumb loser, by somebody who doesn't even matter. Then i discovered perhaps man's greatest invention - beer. I found that this enabled me to turn my brain off and still function. It allows me to be dumber than what I actually am. Then i realised i don''t consider myself a loser. There's actually a lot of things I love about myself... in fact many have been able to note that I'm a narcissist. But lately I'm maturing and trading in a shallow defense mechanism for a more honest take on me!!

So to have some half-hearted closure in the matter, here's where I go wrong.

FIRST UP - This blog. c'mon, women like confidence. Unfortunately I'm a writer. I'm a thinker, naturally curious about things. You can't be curious and certain at the same time. I'm a sagi+capri.. amazing how those things actually apply sometimes// wateva that didn't make sense to me.
n moreover women like popular guys. just take a look at the comments section in this blog. you get the point.
If I'm lucky, I can maybe pull off a 'Listen, yeah I seem whiny and insecure, but that's just how I am, and I'm not going to change just so that it brings more readers to my blog" power trip that paradoxically will bring them to my blog in hoards.
*sits and waits*

I'M ARROGANT- I'm fucking smart. No joke. I was so used to being academically right when I grew up [ yes i was a brilliant student once upon a time long long ago very very long ago] that it seeped into other areas. A lot of times I just don't like people. People generally don't respond well when you mock their: voice, opinions, dress, likes, or attempts to reach out to you.

I'M FUNNY- Leave it to me to have probably the first thing uttered from a girl's lips as a desirable male trait to work against me. Yes, I'm referring to sense of humor. I love comedy... too much. I'd rather be funny than liked... which is odd because I once considered the two synonymous.

My kind of humor isn't the social kind. Well it starts out that way, but you're supposed to drop the act at some point to let them know you're a real person. I don't know if its me acting out against society because of my own feelings of inadequacy or mere gleeful exploration of what I consider the finest art, but I always take the joke too far.

I'M BORED- I can be a real anti-conformist sometimes. If people display an ounce of unoriginality, I write them off and start working my beautiful ironic sabotage. So when GIRL starts to act normal, I hold this against her, which she in turn does not appreciate.

I'M HONEST- I'm honest not only in the "Yeah, i had 46 backlogs in engineering" sense but in every respect.. most of the times atleast.
A girl i knew quite well once asked me. " Do you think i'm pretty or do you think i'm ugly?"
My answer: " Sweetheart, I think you're both. You're Pretty Ugly!!!"

I'M OBLIVIOUS- When you factor in the beer, my penchant for self-centeredness, and all the concentration devoted to making a great joke, it can be easy for me to lose sight of surroundings. That whole system of body language eludes me. Hell even regular language is out of my grasp sometimes. Irony, feigning disinterest, just being nice: all throw me off. I really would like to take a crash course in all this. It intrigues me to the point of nerd-dom.

It's amazing to me to watch these traits in action, almost immediately turning people off. Yet, on more than one occasion they pull a 180 when they finally "get" me and actually start liking me. actually you know what richie says i am extremely funny and that i got this rough grizzly manly kinda look going for me.
her exact words were "You're a joker and you look like a bear".

and i love her for that.
peace out

Check this out..

if you search "do blowjobs cure headaches" on google,
google replies - did you mean: do blowjobs cause headaches

now i know for sure that whoever wrote the code for this was a girl.. lol